Hello! And greetings from your pal, Audrey…. Angle. My name is Audrey Angle. See what I did there? (cue the crickets)
Anyway….what’s the point? What is it we’re doing here? What’s the frequency, Kenneth? I guess the bottom line is, I like to write. And I’m just arrogant enough to believe that what I put down may be helpful, or interesting, or at the very least, entertaining to you or someone else. So, here we are, me writing, you reading… and hopefully maybe even you returning the favor with a comment or two, in the spirit of connection.
The ugly facts are that I’m someone who’s experienced a fairly heavy dose of sudden and tragic loss. To bullet point it, I’m a wife, a mother, a widow, and a wife again with a granddaughter in Heaven.
As soon as I deconstruct it to that level, my inner criticizer, (I call her “the Valley Girl”), has her eyes rolling so violently that I should surely be able to hear them grazing the walls of her skull. She’s telling me how self-important I am to think that my comparatively minuscule grief somehow makes me an authority, and in her annoyingly “like” filled vernacular, she’s announcing with a pinched face, “Like…you are totally NOT, like…any kind of smart person about this”. Isn’t SHE delightful? Am I the only one with that voice? I mean, she’s not the only one, and the minute I say that I sense your eyebrow raise, while wondering if Schizophrenia is on the list, but hear me out. I’m a girl with an idea to write, and that inner voice, who I’m learning not to entirely ignore because she’s got some good insight to my inner workings…is at all times threatening to undermine my resolve to follow through. SO… I have acknowledged her. I have patted her on her sticky, high, Aqua-net hair. I have thanked her for her input, and here I am anyway.
The youngest of my two children is about to leave for college. When the first left, there was 8 years until the second, so while that was sad, (and it was,) I took great solace in knowing that I had a while before having to transition to the kid-free house. Well here I am, and I’m shakin’ in my tattered Birkenstocks. While most of me would rather staple it down, I feel a page turning here, and I’d like to take advantage of the clean page to jot down some things; thoughts and stories about where I’ve been so far, what I’ve learned, what God has done, and where I hope to go from here. My hope is that anyone who might be interested will come along too. So let’s together make like Tiny Tim – let’s let God carry us and prayerfully Bless us, every one.
Love you to pieces! Interested in sharing your writing journey.
Oh Thank you Kathy!
You can do this!
Thanks for the support!
I’ll come along, too!! <3
Yay! Together is better!
Audrey, You have always been good with words . Your very words are always descriptive in a very humorous way. Keep writing because you have a lot of talent
Thank you Christie!
Audrey, you have been through so much and yet you show in how you live and write how God has brought you out the other side. You’re a great inspiration and so helpful to those of us that are also going through trials of our own. God gave you a gift to share and I thank you for doing so.
Oh my, I appreciate your kindness and support Siri. Together is better!
Nice my friend!!
Thanks Bren! Love you tons!
So excited to read your blog!! You have such a beautiful way of putting your thoughts down on paper or blog(whichever the case may be!) Now in regards to your soon to be “empty nest”- as you already know, the last one is so so different from the first one. I remember sitting in my living room after waving goodbye and then the tears started rolling!! It was quiet in the house- a different kind of quiet! I didn’t like it one bit! But I survived and you will too with new adventures and routines! You have raised a beautiful daughter and now it’s time to enjoy as you watch your little bird soar!
Oh Karen, thank you so much. Yours was one of the first faces to connect with my broken heart, exactly where it was at when Jim died. You said it was a club that nobody wanted a membership for, and you told me that while I’d never get over it, I’d learn to live around it. I hope to follow your example of kindness and compassion and valuable truth for others in pain.
I live reading what you write, I will be following you. 🙂
Thank you Malissa!
I have always loved your writings, look forward to more.
Thank you for following Charlotte! 🙂
This seems like a very good idea!
Thank you Jeanette!
I’m in. I enjoy your writing and wit. The exposed soul.
Thank you Angie. I’ve just never been the type of person who’s soul is mysterious. It spills out all over the place… sort of like my belly over the top of my spanx. 😉
I LOVE it!! You are my hero Mrs. Angle. Write away and I will read every word.
Goodness, you are kind. Your support is so appreciated and welcome. 🙂
Smiling! SO excited to follow this. You inspire, plain and simple! Now…to learn how to do that following thing. Haha!
Thanks so much friend! Ditto on that follow part. 😉
Lovely. I am totally up for hearing your heart. 💗
Thanks much my friend. Together is better!
I like your angles!! Most of us have “a Valley Girl” that we listen to too often. You are a strong woman & a Child of God. Go for it!!!
Thank you Sorrel, I appreciate your support! God is good!
Your words are beautiful and meaningful.
Thank you Jill. 🙂
Audrey, I look forward to reading your blog! You made me smile, cry, and nod my head with understanding of that pesky inner voice! You go, GIRL!
Thank you Jana! Much like a toddler, my inner voice gets louder the more I ignore her. Once I pat her on the head, she seems to quiet down! 😉 Appreciate your support.
Hallelujah at last. Your talent (writing) is inspired and inspiring, comforting, understandable, thought provoking and just a joy. Go getem’ girl. I can’t wait.
Thank you my friend.
This is great. I’m happy to get to read your angle, Angle 😉 I intend to continue following.
Happy to have you along Shannon! There’s comfort in numbers.
Best wishes with this. I always love to read your Facebook posts. They inspire me and give me hope. I know your blog will bring peace to many as well.
Thank you Kim! Much love!
The emotional pain we feel through life is indeed real. It’s not just your’s but share with those who have like experiences. I have only lost three very close freinds, so I can only imagine the pain of losing a child/grandchild.
You write very well, bearing your inner emotions is an important feature when doing so brings the support you need.
As I read your post the thought occurred to me how important it is to deal with hardships soon after the occurances. I’m reminded of a lecture I viewed, stressing the importance of nit submitting the hardship to our SUBconscience, but dealing with them as soon as possible in our conscious mind.
Any thought submitted to the subconscious mind is uncontrollable and wreaks havoc and discontent for as long as it remains out of sight and mind. Like a termite or a rat, which remains unseen, it destroys our foundational principles. Although it is very difficult and pain full to bring those subconscious thoughts forward, it is an essential part of our pschy to do so, before they can destroy us.
From your post, I assume you have done so, and have irraticated the pests from your SUBconscience, but there is a slight bit if repair still to be done before the palace of your life can be beautiful again. It is our pleasure to help you make the repairs.
In no way is your writing an arrogant misperception of yourself. Presenting your thoughts and allowing conversation is what many need to do, unordered fir all of us to gain a different perspective, and decide if another perspective is better than ours.
Thank You. I’ll be looking for someone else’s conversation and perspective as well.
Thanks Dallon, interesting thoughts about the subconscious mind. Like you, I have much respect for experts on the subject and I think we are wise to get that kind of help. I was so very blessed to be surrounded by solid, professional support through the grief in my life. I would never suggest anybody try it without. Friends and family are incredibly important, but if you have a broken leg, you see the bone Dr… for the level of grief I experienced, I sought professional help and I believe I am better for it for sure. One of the main features in my initial therapy had to do with some practical right/left brain processing. I’ll admit it sounded a bit hoakie at first, but I’m glad I was open to it and invested into the process. I experienced a time when words were very difficult and I felt “stuck” trying to wade through the pain. My therapist integrated art (and believe me I’m no artist, but that didn’t matter) into the therapy and I was amazed at how helpful that was. Our brains are complicated machines, and they are worth the investment of a therapist when they get glitchy. Thanks for your comment, your perspective, and your support!
Nice beginning for your writings.
Thanks Charlotte!
So happy to join your journey!